Packers 27, Cowboys 37

Talk about deja-vu! If anyone forgot what it was like to watch Packers-Cowboys mid 90's, last night was a convenient trip back in time.

Thanks to a brother-in-law who has NFL Network I was able to watch the game in its entirety. It really was not as depressing as you might think; the Pack appeared to have a chance up until the final 5 minutes.

In case you missed it, here are some thoughts from a person who stayed up for the whole thing.

--The crew of referees that officiated last night's game might want to brush up on certain parts of the NFL Rulebook, particularly as pertains to faceguarding, forward progress, excessive celebration, and incidental contact.

--The Packers' primary pass rush strategy was a bit mystifying. It consisted mainly of each rusher finding an unnoccupied offensive lineman and engaging him.

Consequently, Tony Romo's play looked a bit less like the stellar performance it actually was, and more like a dude sitting in his living room easy chair tossing cold ones to his friends.

--Dallas Offensive Coordinator Jason Garrett's post game notes undoubtedly contained something akin to the following: "Al Harris cannot consistently cover Terrell Owens . . . Collins and Bush cannot consistently cover anyone . . . Send thank you card and flowers to Atari Bigby."

--Heavy consumption of hot wings, pizza, Doritos and carbonated beverages after 8:30 pm will result in frequent wakefulness accompanied by some of the most regrettable intestinal distress ever experienced by man.

--Despite the fact defensive players from every team in the NFL fall into the fetal position nearly every time they see him carrying the ball, the Packers somehow managed to "limit" Marion Barber to 81 yards and no scores. To me Barber was the single biggest threat to a Green Bay victory coming into this game. Go figure.

--Let's all be honest. Does anyone really think that Favre getting hurt did anything but help the Packers? It was obvious Brett was having one of those games where trying harder only led to worse play, and had he not been sidelined, Green Bay may not have scored more than 10 points.

Aaron Rodgers acquitted himself nicely, forever ending (we can only pray) the era of Doug Pederson style backup QBs in Green Bay. He ably manned the helm of the Packer offense for three scoring drives, passed for 201 yds and a TD (with nary a interception or fumble), as well as running for positive yardage including a couple first downs.

--Under his football uniform, Jason Witten wears blue leotards, a red cape, and has a capital "S" emblazoned on his chest. He is completely justified in doing so.

After Terrell Owens decided to bat the football to a defender in the endzone rather than secure it for his (yawn) 15th TD of the season, Romo threw to Witten almost exclusively. Most of the Packer defense compares in size to Witten as Bryant Gumbel compares to Chris Collinsworth.

(These latter are the NFL Network's Thursday Game play-by-play announcer and color-man respectively. When shown onscreen together, Collinsworth is typically seated, and Gumbel is standing on a barstool. Collinsworth is still an inch or two taller. Perhaps not coincidentally, I was struck more than once that Gumbel is the no-brainer choice for any Kermit the Frog voice work that might presently be available.)

--What head coach in the NFL truly believes that a 6 foot plus quarterback cannot fall forward for two inches and pick up a must-have first down? Besides Mike McCarthy, I mean.

--A case could be made that Green Bay kicker Mason Crosby was the Packer's most valuable player last night. Not only did he nail two long field goals (47 and 52 yds) , but he was responsible for making the stop on two (!) kickoff returns that might have gone for touchdowns otherwise.

Additionaly, he laid down a perfect onside kick that Green Bay recovered. An unfortunate failure by Packers' #20 to control his own body (his arm grazed the ball before it went 10 yds) resulted in a rekick. At that point the element of suprise was lost, and Crosby had to boot it on down the field.

--Apparently A. J. Hawk and Aaron Rodgers are actively campaigning to return NFL players' physical appearences to the Jack Lambert/Lynn Dickey era. I cannot decide if this is better or worse than the current dreadlock trend.

Hey folks, thanks for reading, and stop by again-- I'll be here all week.

American Life in Poetry: Column 139

BY TED KOOSER, U.S. POET LAUREATE, 2004-2006

Man's best friend is, of course, woman's best friend, too. The Illinois poet, Bruce Guernsey, offers us this snapshot of a mutually agreed upon dependency that leads to a domestic communion.


The Lady and the Tramp

As my mother's memory dims
she's losing her sense of smell
and can't remember the toast
blackening the kitchen with smoke
or sniff how nasty the breath of the dog
that follows her yet from room to room,
unable, himself, to hear his own bark.

It's thus they get around,
the wheezing old hound stone deaf
baying like a smoke alarm
for his amnesiac mistress whose back
from petting him is bent forever
as they shuffle towards the flaming toaster
and split the cindered crisp that's left.


American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (http://www.poetryfoundation.org/), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright (c) 2007 by Bruce Guernsey, whose newest book, "New England Primer," published by Cherry Grove Collections (WordTech Communications) is due out in 2008. Poem reprinted from "Spoon River Poetry Review", Vol. XXVI, no. 2, by permission of the author. Introduction copyright (c) 2007 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

American Life in Poetry: Column 138

BY TED KOOSER, U.S. POET LAUREATE, 2004-2006

You've surely heard it said that the old ought to move over to make room for the young. But in the best of all possible worlds, people who love their work should be able to do it as long as they wish. Those forced to retire, well, they're a sorry lot. Here the Chicago poet, Deborah Cummins, shows a man trying to adjust to life after work.


At a Certain Age

He sits beside his wife who takes the wheel.
Clutching coupons, he wanders the aisles
of Stop & Save. There's no place he must be,
no clock to punch. Sure,
there are bass in the lake, a balsa model
in the garage, the par-three back nine.
But it's not the same.
Time the enemy then, the enemy now.

As he points the remote at the screen
or pauses at the window, staring
into the neighbor's fence but not really seeing it,
he listens to his wife in the kitchen, more amazed
than ever--how women seem to know
what to do. How, with their cycles and timers,
their rolling boils and three-minute eggs,
they wait for something to start. Or stop.


American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright (c) 2007 by Deborah Cummins, and reprinted by permission of the author. Deborah Cummins' most recent book of poetry is "Counting the Waves," WordTech Communications, 2007. Introduction copyright (c) 2007 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

Obama '08!

Ok, I watched the Democratic presidential primary debate last night, and gained instant respect for Sen. Barack Obama (IL). Not because of his policies and views, although if pressed, I might have to concede that his policy on immigration makes more sense to me than that of President Bush. Actually enforce existing laws? What a novel concept!

But what I found to be more impressive was that he actually-- in fairly stark contrast to the rest of the field-- stated what he believed! Most of what I heard from the rest, Clinton and Edwards especially, could have been rephrased as, "Vote for me because the policies of George W. Bush are dismal failures."

While many pundits have referred to his admittedly verbose answer to the question on drivers licenses for illegal immigrants as "fumbling" or "rambling", Obama did what we long for most candidates to do; he answered and then went on to identify what he believed was the underlying issue. Thinking past the sound-byte? What another unusual quality.

Additionally, most post-debate commentaters I have heard say he avoided answering yea or nay. Well perhaps that's how it sounded to anyone who didn't really care to hear anything other than a one word answer, but, in fact, he clearly stated at the beginning of his little speech that he supported such licenses and believed they were in the interest of public safety.

Oddly, many analysts failed to note that only Clinton and Biden gave a yes/no answer to this question (Kucinich was the real non-respondant here). It almost seemed to me that this segment of the debate was little more than an opportunity for Hillary to get on the record with her new position on this topic.

The last thing I wanted to point out was the way Obama would brook no spin-doctoring from Clinton regarding his tax proposals. Obama supports raising the cap (currently $97,500) on the amount of income that is subject to the Social Security tax. Clinton said that such an increase would hurt "middle class" Americans. Perhaps an income pushing $100K is middle class in New York, Clinton's home district, but Obama quickly and correctly pointed out that only 6% of Americans make over $97,500. That can hardly be considered middle class.

Now, as I said, I don't necessarily agree with Obama on alot, but the point he raised also serves as the basis of tax-cut mentality. It is simply impossible to cut taxes for much of the middle class. The fact is that there are lots of middle class families who pay no federal income tax at all. So when you hear tax-raisers holler that tax cuts primarily favor the rich, they are right. It is the rich people who are the primary tax payers in the United states. While Obama wants to tax them more, at least he is honest about the numbers as he proposes it.

So, now that you know my thoughts on the man who should be the next Democratic nominee for president, let me give a quick rundown on the rest of the runners. This is going to be, of course, entirely subjective, and perhaps even occassionally tongue-in-cheek.

Sen. Joseph Biden (DE): I really didn't get to focus on much that he had to say since I was so distracted by the fact that, while his forehead is hideously wrinkled, the portion of his face below eyebrow level is totally tight. A little too tight. Anti-wrinkle tape, Joe? He also appears to think he and his little judiciary committe are pretty hot stuff: "I've presided over more Supreme Court Justices than any one in history." Justices or nominees? I have no doubt that anyone currently on an appointment approval committe has presided over more nominees than any of their predecessors, what with the rate at which qualified candidates are capriciously turned away.

Gov. Bill Richardson (NM): This guy is so earnest it hurts. He really wants to help. He means it! I don't doubt his sincerity, but alot of his proposals are, well, unrealistically idealistic. While the same could be said about me sometimes, I don't get on as big a stage as poor Bill and confess my hopes to a nation who is never going to give me the first chance to pursue them. Someone buy this dreamer a blankie and a cup of hot chocolate; next November will find him out in the cold.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich (OH): Last night was my first exposure to this strange and, apparently, very angry little man. I don't know how tall Hillary is, but she towers over him, and his demeanor and manner of speaking makes her look and sound as pleasant as your Aunt Martha. He objects to and is offended by Wolf Blitzer referring to someone as an illegal immigrant. He says people cannot be illegal. Really, that is what people are trying to say? I know Dennis was born in Cleveland, and he was probably educated in the public schools there as well. How else can you explain the fact that he doesn't seem to understand that when a person is referred to by a word describing how they arrived in this country (like, say, immigrant) that a modifying word describing the legality of that means of arrival is not totally innapropriate.

Although I do have to give ol' Dennis props-- anyone who can make a former trial lawer squirm on stage deserves it. Especially when that trial lawyer is John Edwards.

Sen. Hillary Clinton (NY): It may just be I am prejudiced against anyone with this last name, but last night seemed like more puff and spin and saying the bare minimum about what the latest polls indicate that people want to hear. Please, please, PLEASE do not let this lady be the nominee.

Sen. Chris Dodd (CT): From what I could gather he disagrees with George Bush, like, alot, and sounds as if he would have a lovely singing voice. Perhaps better suited for American Idol, Baby Boomer Edition?

Former Sen. John Edwards (SC): This guy, to me, is the single scariest candidate on stage. He comes across like a total fake. A trial lawyer who made his multi-millions by suing big business, he apparently learned along the way that it is entirely appropriate to use the tragic death of your teen-aged son for political purposes-- not heard that story? Ask John Kerry about it. I'm just amazed he was able to go the whole night without his wife stepping in to protect him.

Politics and poetry dominating the O-files. Kinda weird. Fear not folks. There is herp related stuff coming soon!

American Life in Poetry: Column 137

(Sorry I am so late on this . . .)


BY TED KOOSER, U.S. POET LAUREATE, 2004-2006

Dill pickles with strawberry jam? Pregnant women are known to go for late night meals like that. And the senses can go haywire. Here Jessy Randall, of Colorado Springs, gives us a look at one such woman.


Superhero Pregnant Woman

Her sense of smell is ten times stronger.
And so her husband smells funny;
she rolls away from him in the bed.
She even smells funny to herself,
but cannot roll away from that.

Why couldn't she get a more useful superpower?
Like the ability to turn invisible, or fly?

The refrigerator laughs at her from its dark corner,
knowing she will have to open it some time
and surrender to its villainous odors.


American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (http://www.poetryfoundation.org/), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright (c) 2007 by Jessy Randall. Reprinted from "A Day in Boyland," by Jessy Randall, published by Ghost Road Press, 2007, by permission of the author. Introduction copyright (c) 2007 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

American Life in Poetry: Column 136

BY TED KOOSER, U.S. POET LAUREATE, 2004-2006

Here's a fine seasonal poem by Todd Davis, who lives and teaches in Pennsylvania. It's about the drowsiness that arrives with the early days of autumn. Can a bear imagine the future? Surely not as a human would, but perhaps it can sense that the world seems to be slowing toward slumber. Who knows?


Sleep

On the ridge above Skelp Road
bears binge on blackberries and apples,
even grapes, knocking down
the Petersens' arbor to satisfy the sweet
hunger that consumes them. Just like us
they know the day must come when
the heart slows, when to take one
more step would mean the end of things
as they should be. Sleep is a drug;
dreams its succor. How better to drift
toward another world but with leaves
falling, their warmth draping us,
our stomachs full and fat with summer?


American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation (www.poetryfoundation.org), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright (c) 2007 by Todd Davis. Reprinted from "Some Heaven," by Todd Davis, published by Michigan State University Press, 2007, by permission of the author and publisher. Introduction copyright (c) 2007 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. We do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.